'I was a mess. I was only fifty years old and I had deteriorating joints and bones. I was in the process of waiting many months for a knee replacement. I could barely walk and not drive. Even before that, I had spent a decade trying to manage the symptoms of painful rheumatoid arthritis amongst other things. My worst nightmare had come true. I was housebound, limited and nowhere to go except surrender to the realisation that the answer to all my problems was me. I was the centre of my nightmare but I came to understand that I am also the centre of my best dream!
As my entire life revolved around me, I reacted to it willingly (albeit unconsciously) and my reactions set off even more of the same or similar experiences. I did not realise then that how I reacted, thought, created and behaved carved out my reality. Like a sculptor chipping away at a large, beautiful piece of marble, every chip made a difference. I needed to see that I had to slow down my thinking and chip away with much greater care, confidence, skill, love, intuition and with all my being. I must add that it was not my ‘fault’ and I was not to ‘blame’. Blame and shame are simply unhelpful thoughts at any stage of life and about anything. If I knew better, I would have had different thoughts and made different choices. I still may have experienced some illness but with better care, support and professional help, I may have recovered much more quickly. For example, a deep belief of worthlessness can potentially lead to not being proactive, not standing up for yourself and not making progress in life.It’s in the how that creates our personality. We do create personality, after all we are not set in stone! Every personality will respond differently to life’s challenges and circumstances in how and what they do. For example, how do you respond to life? With love, compassion, gratitude? Excitement, joy, anticipation? Caution, procrastination, apathy? Trepidation, avoidance, fear? Resentment, anger, bitterness? Sometimes, it’s not even a conscious process or decision until you wake up. Until life gets too messy, too painful and too impossible to live anymore that it jolts you awake to shine a light on who you’re being, how you're responding and what you truly want in life. And then, the journey really begins because it’s then you take back the reins. You realise you had the power all along and that you are at the centre of it all. So, don’t be hard on yourself for falling into a nightmare or a life less than you want. See it this way, the hardships woke you up, the challenges made you stronger, the nightmares gave you courage and now, now you are ready for your best dreams to come true.'https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dreams-Come-True-book-poems/dp/B0B45GTVJS/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1656657457&refinements=p_27%3AVictoria+Walkden&s=books&sr=1-1&text=Victoria+Walkden